whenever i see a noir detective in the rain i’m like yeah man… that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be
Noir detectives are actually meant to be stressed, it’s their natural state. A Noir detective with nothing to be stressed about, will quickly revert to a more highly stressed state than normal.
Noir detectives require stress to be healthy, that’s why it’s a good idea to make sure that an Inside Detective has access to regular difficult and alarming cases to solve and also a shower they can stand in (fully clothed or not) to agonize, since they can’t go out in the rain. Don’t be alarmed if they bang their little fists on the tile and howl, that’s a normal part of the display. If they sit on the floor and cry, though, they may be overstimulated and need some hard alcohol and a nap to help them settle down.
It can be difficult, but if you have a friend with a Femme Fatale, arranging a (supervised) playdate can be enriching to both of them.
it’s important to allow your Noir Detective to bundle your Femme Fatale into an airplane at night at least once a year, as it provides them both with a rare excuse to let themselves openly cry for emotional catharsis and clear out vestigial tear ducts, which are dangerous to clean at home. in particularly difficult cases where neither has cried for years, artificial rain may be required to provide some cover (and will also provide a humidity boost, an underlooked but important part of trenchcoat health). Be sure to provide your Noir Detective with additional replacement trenchcoats after airplane enrichment, as the Femme Fatale will probably steal his to line her nest.
i miss the sex workers and kinksters and toy collectors and furry porn makers so much man
rocking back and forth on the front porch cradling a mug of tea on my lap blanket eyes misting fondly as i remember long posts talking about lube safety
MYTH: Americans set off fireworks on the 4th of July, in honor of our Independence Day
FACT: Americans set off fireworks from approximately June 20th—July 20th, for no reason other than this is the time of year that you can literally buy them at any grocery store
A fun thing about computer skills is that as you have more of them, the number of computer problems you have doesn’t go down.
This is because as a beginner, you have troubles because you don’t have much knowledge.
But then you learn a bunch more, and now you’ve got the skills to do a bunch of stuff, so you run into a lot of problems because you’re doing so much stuff, and only an expert could figure them out.
But then one day you are an expert. You can reprogram everything and build new hardware! You understand all the various layers of tech!
And your problems are now legendary. You are trying things no one else has ever tried. You Google them and get zero results, or at best one forum post from 1997. You discover bugs in the silicon of obscure processors. You crash your compiler. Your software gets cited in academic papers because you accidently discovered a new mathematical proof while trying to remote control a vibrator. You can’t use the wifi on your main laptop because you wrote your own uefi implementation and Intel has a bug in their firmware that they haven’t fixed yet, no matter how much you email them. You post on mastodon about your technical issue and the most common replies are names of psychiatric medications. You have written your own OS but there arent many programs for it because no one else understands how they have to write apps as a small federation of coroutine-based microservices. You ask for help and get Pagliacci’d, constantly.
But this is the natural of computer skills: as you know more, your problems don’t get easier, they just get weirder.
you know you’ve made it when you’re googling problems and ending up with 0-9 results
what about thinking about the best that could happen instead ! ✨
an abundant life with flowers and laughter and having enough and new art projects and learning to fish and making a new recipe and taking it easy and being in love and laying in the soft grass and touching lake water and eating salty french fries and sunsets and seeing an old friend for the first time in a while and trying the dessert before serving it and daydreaming and having a good stretch and ice cream sundaes and roadside blackberries and drive in movies and road trips and promises and bird songs
